This is Kerry's story so far. Kerry is one of my girls and my heart races with even with posting her testimony as its so personal. But I have asked Kerry to share, as I think many of you will be encouraged by reading this, hence why I have titled this post - "itsgettingpersonal"
It's crazy, I went to my first weight watchers meeting when I was about 12 years old. I was a little over weight but I guess my mum didn't want me to struggle with weight problems later on in life as she had tried so many times before. I never worried about my weight much till I was 17 and had my first little man on the way, 11 months later my second little man had arrived, at this point I had reached 125kg. I tried so hard got no where with few kgs loss here and there. 1 year later I left my partner and was determined to seek happiness that I thought was weight loss! I walked, I ate less and danced around like a crazy person lol I lost 21kg found what I thought was happiness and stopped because I was there (104kg). I slowly started putting on weight as I was out dancing, eating greasy food, I would be home at 4am and wake at 5 am to spend the day with my boys. I was eating crap while I studied (event planning) always around food. I reached 135kg!!! I had enough! I joined genesis Maitland, then got a personal trainer Toby he changed my world, I feel in love with fitness, challenging myself and seeing what my body could do If I put my mind to it! But food was still a problem I'd eat crap straight after workout, friends wanted to get coffee and cake etc... This last year I reached 152kg,(I've never put my weight out there) and my sons putting on weight, one has fatty liver and depression (he doesn't care) My world was slipping a way I wasn't sleeping well so scared to loss them to the unhealthy habits that I taught them!
-Take away as it's easier. -No water. -Inside all the time video games And TV. -Sweets and chips. -diet Coke so much. -Late nights and early mornings.
I decided things had to change went looking for someone to help me with my sons weight problem, seen Nicole barber and some how my world changed!! We started work but it started with me! Not because I was to blame, because I was the only one in my family that wanted it!! I learned that day, I can't want it for them (this broke my heart). But I can control what was in the house! We started with my scrapbook! First thing was.. One thing at a time! -Chips went 6 months ago - only weigh at Nic B's as I was every day weighing myself. I threw mine out. -stop sweet snacking. (Still working on it) - drink water ( loving it) - good breakfast! This is what sets my tone for the day. - My need to be perfect is gone! If I have a chocolate in the morning, I wouldn't try the rest of the day as it wouldn't be perfect. Couldn't walk for 10 minutes because 60 minutes was perfect. -Music is one of the most important thing to me, your mood can all change with a song. - Coke zero/ Pepsi max- gone! Monday will be 6 weeks gone!!! This is the biggest one!! -Sleep is what I've been working on over Christmas! Getting to know my body better. I've discovered that I need 9 hours of good sleep. No technology or Tv in my room. Just put some aromatherapy oils on and water next to my bed. When I wake I'm ready to take on the world. - last Saturday (Park Run)was the first day back to exercising! It's been 8 months! (stopped to sort my eating) I feel on top of the world!
Over the years of having my boys and my sisters and trying to keep my family and friends all happy, I lost me!! Don't get me wrong I love myself (a lot) but I had though there lives more important then my own! Wearing myself down. Not able to say NO! That has been changing! And some people have left my life but the ones that care are still here! Xo
This last Thursday I had my appointment with Nic and I really needed it! I had to have a hard look at everything I'm now doing! (Portion sizes etc..) As I feel like I was doing everything right! But my weight not moving much at all!
BUT as we discovered there was more to it then just the food! ~Looking at pictures of me overweight I don't see me! I feel like I'm a size 12 so when seeing my pictures I don't connect! This is a problem as I can't fix what I can see! ~A few weeks ago I had noticed my tummy smaller that moment scared me and I felt sick! That day I went out to buy chocolate! ~The day I did my first park felt so amazing I was on top of the world! But That day also I had chocolate! Have I been sabotaging my self, and why? Started thinking! Is it because my world has been about losing weight for 13years? What would I do for me (just me no one else) if I wasn't trying to lose weight? I had no answer!!! And that was my answer!! So Who am I? I discovered that I have never created myself! So the answer to that is who do I want to be?
Knowing all this now I'm excited on creating me! Also excited to see if this will help me lose weight over this next week! BUT if the number is not what I want to see, it will not be my undoing as I am no longer defining myself by the number on the scales!!