I have tried to lose weight many times in the past 5-10 years and have been able to lose a kilo or so here and there, but always put it back on, and then some. I would go strong for the first week or so but seemed to lose motivation and cave into the unhealthy eating and the temptations. I have been unhappy with my body and my weight for years, but was just not in the right headspace to do something serious about it, I always wanted the results without putting in the work.
I woke up on 1 August 2014 and knew within myself that I had had enough. Enough of being the size I was, of being un-happy with myself and of never feeling comfortable in anything I wore without feeling "big". I weighed myself that morning and felt disgusted in the result. I knew that I was then in the right mindset to make a serious change and improve my eating, exercise and willpower. I set up a motivation wall with inspiring sayings and my reasons why I wanted to lose weight and get healthy and placed it in front of my treadmill. I got myself a Fitbit and started counting calories with My Fitness Pal app on my phone. I have not looked back, and am now 18.6kg lighter than I was on 1st August. I still have about another 13kg that I want to lose, and so this is my "So Far" story, but I am determined to get there and see myself at my goal weight.
Nic's Interview with Bec
Q Bec you are so right, many start but it is so hard to keep going. What kept you going?
The first 3 days I had a constant headache from dropping so much sugar out of my diet so fast, so once I got past that I knew if I gave up I would have to suffer that again. This helped keep me on track for the first week, and that first week I lost 3.1 kg. This result then motivated me to keep going even more, and every time I thought about throwing it in, I would think "I have come this far, I do not want to stuff it up now". Seeing the results every week has been a great motivater and also being accountable to Nicole, as well as to my family, friends and most of all myself, has helped too. Seeing my clothes get looser and buying new pants in week 14 was such a thrill, and made me feel so amazing that I was well on my way to my goal. Also setting smaller, realistic goals instead of focusing on the end result so much has helped.
Q Why has this meant so much?
I wanted to prove to myself and my family that I could do this, and I was sick of feeling disgusted and disapointed in myself. I have a 3 year old daughter, and want to lead a good example to her. I want to be around when my daughter grows up, and to show her how to eat well and enjoy exercise. I wanted to be able to be a mum she could be proud of, and have heard of kids in school being teased because their mums are larger, I did not want this to happen to her.
Q What have you gained?
I have gained so much, even in 19 weeks. I now have the energy to get out and run around with my daughter, so I am more active in her life. I don't get out of breath so easily, so can do more long walking activities without getting breathless, and I have started to feel better about myself. I have gained a new confidence in myself and my body that I have not had for about 10 years. I wore a pair of swimmers to the pool last week, and did not feel the need to wrap the towel around myself right away to cover up my body like I used to. I am gaining a whole new outlook on life, and am excited by this and wanting to do even more with my life. I am feeling physically better as well, not so breathless, and mentally so much happier with myself.
Q Why is this not a diet for you?
I do not see this as a diet because every other time I have tried to lose weight I was cutting "bad" foods out of my diet altogether and that only made me want them more. Then I would give in and eat them, and then feel so useless that I couldn't even go a few days without giving in. This time I knew that I could not follow the same path I had previously taken, and needed to change my whole eating and attitude to food. If I wanted chocolate, I would have a Freddo Frog instead of a Family Block, and I would not feel so guilty about it I would just get on with the rest of the day/week. I have cut my portion sizes down instead of just saying "I can't eat that" and have added more exercise as well. I know that I am an emotional/bored eater, and have made concious attempts to do somethiing else instead of eating and giving into the emotions. I have been honest with myself and made myself accountable to myself as well as others, and this has given me the power to stay in control. I have accepted that I am not perfect, that I will have times/days that I lose contol of my food or don't exercise the way that I should, but I do not let that get me down, I look to the next day to get back on track.
Bec, thank you for being brave and sharing
No, thank you. I hope this isn't too much, and that it is useful for you to use. Thank you so much again for all the help you have given me, some of the stuff I have written here I didn't fully realise about myself until I was writing and it just started coming out lol. I am looking forward to the next few months, to reaching my goal weight and living my life as full as I can with a healthy and happy body.